kahwin..

        Semalam our Management bagi balik awal..Since dah dapt chance tu, sempat la pergi jumpa member (lelaki) yang dah bertahun2 tak jumpa, tapi tak lost contact..through phone..berdebar-debar tu memang tak la..excited, hmm..sebab dah lama tak jumpa, ye kot..lepas tu, pergi tengok movie..Percy Jackson.Nice movie after all. Good shots and interesting storyline. Thrill and fun. but this is not about the movie..
        Sebenarnya tak nak pun jumpa dia ni..sebab takut akan tersuka pula kat dia..padahal, memang tak nak pun kat dia..adala sebab-sebab nya..and i don't think he likes me as well..even though kadang-kadang tu dia selalu cerita ke arah more than just friend, we treat that as a joke..tapi, dia ni ada lain cara sikit..have a little bit similarity in way of thinking as me. in fact, dari mula kawan pun memang kitorang tak pernah ada heart feeling..because dia ni someone yang nice to talk to..open and trustable (so far). memang ni first time jumpa kawan lelaki yang memang boleh dibuat kawan semata-mata..tapi masalahnya, bila i am comfortable with someone, i'm used to hoping he's there all the time..macam special boyfriend lar..but he's not a bf..so i can't expect him to be around all the time..then, bila dia takde, i started to feel bukan-bukan..entah..hard to explain...that's why, seboleh mungkin tak nak jumpa dia..tapi fikir-fikir balik, why not kan..
        Masa diner dia start tanya kenapa tak nak kahwin lagi?as usual, my answer, belum ada hati nak kawin..therefore, belum ada hati nak serius dengan sesiapa..again, as usual, kena la balik ayat yang satu ni: jual mahal + memilih. salah ke memilih??nak kahwin bukan seminggu dua..and for those who really understand what marriage is and all the responsibilities, mesti faham tahap keseriusan untuk decide to get married..so do i. tapi kenapa orang asyik buat conclusion macam tu on me??i was once not being choosy when i first time have a bf..but, what happen to the end?that makes me even choosier.. Thank God that i still have the guts not to bother this matters. as my mom also said, she dont mind..that's a green light la..haha..but the rest???why so bother?? there are lots of other things to be done and haven't been done lar dear...                          

Berdoalah semoga dibukakan pintu hatiku...Amin..

Dugaan...

        Pernah di awal tahun 2010, aku berazam untuk tidak lagi mempersoalkan tentang kerja sekarang..menerima apa adanya..tapi kenapa hari ini, aku mula berkira-kira balik..mula perasaan bosan tu..nak tukar kerja, belum dapat offer yang better than what i have or at least almost the same..nak suruh bertahan kat sini, macam satu tekanan gak..the only thing i could do, tak ambil port..tapi sampai bila..kadang-kadang kebengangan tu menular semakin dalam..belum lagi kira kebosanan..
        Apa dan kerja macam mana sebenarnya aku nak...???mungkin, fixed working hours, 5 days a week, seldomly outstation, tolerable distance and traffic, most important is : lots of time to spend with family.. some might says i am spoil.can't even live on my own. but that's not true..i could live on my own. i've been once. mungkin masa tu tengah study, senang..tapi rasanya sama je..still have to manage life on my own..handle probs and stress on my own..mostly on my own la...cuma sejak dah habis belajar dan duduk dengan family 24/7 ni, rasanya macam berat je nak duduk asing lagi..the main reason is, i'm thinking of my parents..nanti cuma tinggal mereka berdua kat rumah..my younger brother bukan selalu ada pun kat rumah..then, my mom will sicking-worry about me staying alone, outside...kesian pula macam tu..i, definitely la will be ok staying alone..tipu la kalau ada orang yang tak haappy dapat life macam tu..it will be like, me,back on track.on my used-to-lifestyle..tapi...i chose not to live such life again..the reason, kept to myself only =)
        Masalah sekarang, nak kerja apa ni..most of those good jobs, widely advertised, they are in KL..betul ke cuma kerja kat KL je yang best dan akan beri pengalaman kerja terbaik?i'm working in shah alam area now..pengalaman kerja kat sini pun cukup baik. plus, i'm working in different field with my degree course. tapi kenapa orang-orang keep on saying, kerja la kat KL..as for me, i know myself better than others. i know what i should go for and avoid. for the reasons on all, so sar, i haven't met someone who could understand..

Best way is then, uphold all right values and put family ahead. U'll be rewarded later. Insya-Allah.. =)

Extra money or BONUS!!

         Selalu dengar bila setiap kali dapat bonus or ada duit lebih sikit, mesti orang akan start cerita : bonus beli ape..pergi mane, tak spend ke..ya..itu normal..tapi bila expenses tu macam tak pernah dapat duit, hmm..patut ke tak tu?? for those with high income, shoudn't be a problem..but what about those with just enough income??kadang2 pelek tengok or dengar bila orang2 dalam kategori ni can simply spend on whatever they want ( excluding basic needs)..lepas tu, akan terduduk terdiam sebab dalam akaun bank left only ngam2 for that month..i do believe that we should spend the money buying things which we favor..as a gift after our hardwork earning the money..tapi tengok orang simply spending too much of their money( which in fact i know: it's their money, their problem) on unneccessary things (branded item esp.), jadi pelek dan hairan kejap...aren't they thinking of their future financial needs??ke, aku yang kedekut sangat????!!!but, i don't think so..i do sometime spend my money on unneccessary things (considered so as my mom always nag at me..hehe)..not as much as them however.. =) but i would rather spend it in an investment mode..
        Ada jugak member2 yang selalu mengeluh, pening2 duit tak cukup..bila tengah bulan sesak nak mati..depends on cases, i do have pity on them and would willingly help if they are really desperate..tapi, bila fikir kan kalau dorang ni jenis spend sesuke hati, maleh nak nolong..huhu..duit tu memang tak kan pernah cukup kalau tak pernah syukur or tak pernah beringat..i really uphold that. tapi jangan pulak tersangat beringat. menyampah pulak orang kat kita..dan bagi yang ada family, kesian pulak kat family kalau da terlalu beringat..ingat jugak, duit tak boleh bawa mati..ingat untuk tinggal bagi mudah urusan mati kita, tu takpe =)

'Buang' la duit pada perkara yang membawa faedah terutama untuk masa depan.. Simpan la semua duit tu kalau rasa tak kan mati..(pada yang kedekut ;p ).. Spend Wisely!

curi time jap tulis-tulis kat sini..he..
apa cite best january 2010 ek.???so far, xbanyak menarik lagi...
1st week, 2nd week  nothing much happen..g jcard sales (gile ramai orang...huh..),
treadmill delivered to my house (bli kt johor tu...mcm selangor xde kdai da..haha),
attending "Halusinasi" great theatre performance (of course..hehe),lagi...mm...
the best part of this month, end of month ni ler...cekrit..cekrit...!!"jackpot"!! > can't wait any longer..!!!<
tahun ni xnk komen2 pasal kerja da...terima seaadanya dengan syukur... :)
(harap2 bertahan lama la perasaan ni...he..)..
end of month ni gak member sorang ni nk kawin da...kena attend tu.sambil cuci-cuci mata..haha
ape lagi ya...mm..selain dari birthday n wedding..??
siapkan keje ler..next month lg rushing..nak raya plak..hahahaha

Happy New Year..!!!

There goes 2009....sama ada baik, buruk, sedih, happy, semuanya da pun terjadi dan perlu left behind...
People used to relate new year with new resolution.Tapi, ekceley, perlu ke ada resolution? I mean, is it a must?? Yeah..it maybe do help in planning our life or at least bagi kita target or aim..Tapi, kenapa ada pulak every end of year, soalan : apa azam tahun ni yang tak tercapai? Erk!! macam tu plak.. Payah..huhu
As for me, rasa-rasa macam xpernah put any resolution. Sebab, for me, kalau nak buat, buat je. Takut kalau say it out, tak menjadi or tak berjaya di resolusi kan (ada ek word tu??haha) da menjadi persolan pulak kenapa boleh jadi tak terbuat??
Tapi, for this year 2010, i do want to try to set a resolutions (banyak nih..). Hmm..apa ye..
For 2010 :

• Definitely I want to live a better or even greater life. Put behind all those unimportant matters.
• Nak usaha lebih lagi untuk dapat kerja baru. Paling tak pun, dapat suatu perkara baru instead of working only...nampak la cam bz sket..he..
• Mungkin jugak for 2010, i should open my heart to someone. Back to love track babe! ;p ( ada sape2 ada azam macam ni, drop me ur no ;> )
• Berani pikir nak kawin..!! Tu pun after dapat calon la..kesian to my mom risau-risau..( alasan..haha)

thank God....

Alhamdulillah..everything has settled...thank Allah SWT the great almighty for still giving us this chance...
This is a lesson for us to always stick together..
We need to move on..let the mistake be our guidance to a better life ahead...

There's always a reason behind everything that happen in our life..

this is a heavy test..

People used to relate Awal Muharram or known as Hijrah with good things especially transition from bad to good it whatever aspect...but badly, we are been tested with a deeply heavy test..even it is not directly towards us, we do feel the sadness in it..we cant just blaming others on the reason why this happen..in fact we need to sit together n figure out the solution rite..not the put pressure on others, not to blame others and not even to question what the other party have done to avoid this from happening..it's already happen..not to mention what it is actually (as it is to privacy), believe me, nobody would dare to face this kind of thing..unless for those who did not care bout their life anymore...i've been crying on this for few days.. ='(  we grew up together..ever since he was born..maybe we did play an important part in his life by just letting him be on his own life which lead to this problem...we did seriously make a big mistake...i do feel that all this while he's been far from us..we just thought that's normal for a grown up boy..but....
untill this happen, i just cant stop blaming myself for not strictly tell the rest of us for not leaving him be in his own world 24/7..hmm....
"The most we could do now, pray to God please lighten up this burden...let it be a lesson for all of us to think the consequences of whatever we are planning to do..lesson to be more responsible in life...finally a deep reminder for us not to forget our creator ; Allah S.W.T in every seconds of our breath.."

                        ......loves yourself and your family...